Watching a movie today shed some insight into what I’ve been feeling lately. Don’t ask me what the movie was because I’m ashamed to say it – my mother would have been pleased though, lets just put it that way!
Sometimes when you’ve gone somewhere with someone else, it’s hard to go there ever again with anyone else. And when I got a reminder this week of stuff that happened before, it was even more frightening. I find it hard to trust myself with anyone with that kind of investment or emotion. Sometimes I tell myself to stop being an idiot and that it’d be different. But then I get reminders and it makes me hesitate to put myself out there again.
Maybe it’s too soon, maybe I deserve better, maybe it’s not right, lots of maybes. Thanks girls. I don’t even know which one is right.
All I know is that I’ve been frightened and that I should probably listen to myself.
